Silence by God.

Have you been on a path with God doing all the healing, hearing Him and what He is calling you to do and all of a sudden you get silence? You feel like you're finally on the path He intended, going about your day seeking His insight, but out of no where, radio silence? Could be just my experience, but we all at some point feel frustrated with God. We may even feel neglected or disappointed by Him. We may be asking for answers and not receiving. We may be looking to the heavens, on our knees praying for something to change or for a miracle to happen. Yet days pass and God is silent, or we don't hear answers we want to hear. There is either no movement from God, or it's not movement we expected.

It is absolutely okay to feel that way; we are still human beings with all the emotions. Remember when you were a kid and didn't get what you wanted? Maybe that toy or that candy bar at the store. You whined and cried for it but your parents told you no, so you continued, yet they kept quiet; let you get it all out to the point of throwing a tantrum.

Well, God is our Father and we are His children. In the same way, when things don't work out our way, or life is not going as planned, we get angry with God; feeling upset, disappointed or frustrated. It's like that silence is the time He gives us to allow our tantrums, to let it all out. Well, what if it's not God that is the problem? What if we need to shift our perspective, reflecting back to ourselves?

I recently experienced this deeply with God. I was really in an intimate space with Him, moving along the path He wanted for me. I say that because this path of obedience has not been a journey I ever expected, nor am I doing things I ever thought I would be doing. This is all God's plan for my life. He has told me what business to build and who I am going to be. I will admit, I did not accept it all. I started moving in what I thought I needed to be built first and everything else He had for me will follow. But that wasn't God's plan, so when I would pray for answers I would hear silence. I felt like I was stuck; I didn't know how to move. I started doing mundane tasks throughout my days because I didn't want to move without approval from God. I was building a business for Him after all, I wanted to make sure I was hearing Him right (but doubting is not a form of discernment, to be clear: it's a way of testing God, which does not work out for us in the end). The movement I would try to make in a progressive effort of building my business always failed, which was also a sign I should move on and do something else. I claimed that I didn't know what else to do or what else it was God wanted me to do. I was getting frustrated with Him, even annoyed and upset. I would yell out to Him, "just tell me what to do! Why are you ignoring me?!".

(Remember, I knew everything I was going to be in God, but I did not want to accept them all). It took a "tough love" lecture from my aunt and a few other signs from God for me to realize, I do know what I needed to do (for me, confirmation it's from the Holy Spirit always comes as two or three signs). It was the one thing I was not accepting God told me I am going to be. God was not moving in my life because I was not moving in the way He wanted me to. He knew my next step, He knew what I needed to be doing but I was being resistant.

God wanted to put me on full blast; expose me, share my story and be vulnerable with the world. For someone who hid their whole life and avoided being seen, it was a hard pill to swallow. Ultimately, I knew I was the one holding myself back. When I received all my signs from the Holy Spirit, I knew the minute I decided to move in this one area, God was going to move within me in all areas of my life.

The big takeaway is this: God created us for a purpose and He has a plan for our lives which is greater than we can even imagine. When we try to control the situation or the plan, that's when we get frustrated or angry. We direct it towards God but the reality is we are upset with ourselves; something may not be working out the way we thought or had planned. Here is the truth: God is in control, it is all in His timing and when we surrender to His will, everything falls into place. The lessons He chooses to teach us are meant to make us better, stronger and whole. It's not an easy journey, He never said it was going to be, but it's about our perspective and how we see every situation, every circumstance in our lives. Do we allow emotions to cloud our judgement? Are we looking to pin blame to someone else when we know we have to change? Again, His plan for our lives is great than we can fathom.

You have free will to choose your path in life, but don't allow fear to drive your choices. Don't allow fear to keep you from doing what you were meant to do. You are your own worst enemy; what would happen if you got out of your own way? What would happen if you stopped making excuses for everything? You have a purpose, but the question is, will you choose your purpose?

I encourage you, choose to step out boldly into faith. Choose to be courageous and see what life brings you. What do you have to lose? Your choices have the chance to change your life just by a single decision. Choosing God? Well that will also change your heart. Don't let the need to be in control take you away from the life you were meant to live. Surrender and see what God has called you to be.